


The Centrists Try To Cook Dinner

by UndervaluedAgent



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bad Cooking, Cooking, Fire, Gen, Humor, literally what is this, stupid that's what it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:48:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25694542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndervaluedAgent/pseuds/UndervaluedAgent
Summary: The summary is in the title.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	The Centrists Try To Cook Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> I have a bunch of WIPs I need to work on, and this is what I spend my time on? Really?

"Political Nihilist? Can you come set the table?"

Nihilist groaned loudly at the sound of Radical Centrist's voice. "Fuck off, I'm listening to My Chemical Romance. I don't have time to set the table."

"We're cooking dinner, we just need you to set the table, please. I can't set it because I keep crashing into people, but I'm not taking off my sick roller blades," Radical Centrist responded.

As Nihilist tossed his headphones to the side and stomped down the staircase, he heard Anti-Radical say "Why were you saying we? Isn't that a communist thing? Sounds kinda extreme to me..."

"Come on, that's not very radical of you---"

"Radical?!"

"---Fine, cool. Not very cool of you. There are just multiple people making dinner, so I said we. I'm not a communist. I'm not a leftist, I'll prove it: cuck. Is that something a leftist would say?" Radical inquired.

"...Fine, I believe you, but if you keep acting like this, I will gut you like a fish!"

Political Nihilist rolled his eyes at his squabbling teammates as he walked over to the cabinet holding the plates. "I don't get why you guys are bothering to make dinner instead of just, y'know, ordering a pizza or something. We'll have food either way, so why even bother putting in the effort?"

"Well, the way I see it, there's literally no difference between making food and ordering it," Horseshoe Centrist said, reaching for a knife.

"Don't touch that knife!" Anti-Radical suddenly shouted.

"Why not?"

"It's not a kitchen knife, it's part of my knife collection!"

"Well, the way I see it, there's literally no difference between kitchen knives and collection knives," Horseshoe reasoned.

"WELL, THE WAY I SEE IT, THERE'S NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GUTTING YOU LIKE A FISH AND GUTTING YOU LIKE A FISH!" Anti-Radical screamed.

"Guys, p-please, let's not be too hasty. Stop fighting, I just want to grill..." Moderate Lee whined.

"We're not even grilling this."

"I just want to cook..."

Anti-Radical stormed over to a bewildered-looking Horseshoe Centrist at that point, pulled a knife out of the knife holder, and shoved it into his hands. "Here, this one's not part of my collection. Don't use any of the others, or they'll all be going inside you."

Horseshoe paused for a moment. "Well, the way I see it---"

"Just get to chopping!"

***

"FIRE!" Moderate Lee screamed, pointing at the fire that had started on the stove. "Oh, sorry, was that too extreme? Fire!"

"Well, the way I see it, there's literally no difference between there being a fire and there not being a fire---"

"Just get the damn fire extinguisher!" everyone aside from Horseshoe Centrist shouted in imperfect unison.

Horseshoe at that point ran off to grab the fire extinguisher, which got used a surprising amount in the centrists' house. He came back a few moments later and started to spray, shouting "YEEHAW!" as he did so.

Once the flames died down, Moderate Lee sadly said "I just wanted to grill---I mean cook. Now it's ruined, probably, I think."

"See, I told you we should've just ordered pizza."


End file.
